When Good Men Go To War
by MaraudMyHeart
Summary: The Marauders are entering their seventh year at Hogwarts, the year before they join the Order. Sirius is determined to have more fun than ever, and a childhood friend, Marlene McKinnon, is happy to help.  SBXMM RLXDM JPXLE  Rated M for smut in later chs.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own the characters, just what I'm doing with them.

_Marlene,_

_I hate it here. God, I do. I swear, I'm leaving next year. I won't come back again. I'm sorry I'm writing you again. James finally got the girl. He doesn't want to hear me complain. Remus, well, he doesn't have time for my whinging. And, Peter, eh...I don't want to talk to Peter about it. You get it, though, don't you? We're in the same boat, kind of. _

_Course, you're a Slytherin. I expect they're a little less ashamed of you. God, listen to me. I sound like a prattling idiot. _

_I hate this fucking house._

_I hate my fucking family._

_Well, at least yesterday starts the semester. That'll be seventh year. One more year, and I'll graduate. Join the Order with my friends._

_Sirius_

_Sirius,_

_Don't worry about it. Despite the ungodly hour, your owl didn't actually wake me. I've been listening to my parents shout all night. Sure, we're in the same boat, I guess. My parents aren't totally psychotic though. And they don't support the Dark Lord. They're, I guess, closet-purists._

_I don't mind you writing, though. It's kind of nice. Not a lot of time for chatter in the school year. We run with different circles, I guess. I'd also recommend you write in complete sentences instead of chicken-scratching cave-man speak._

_Anyway, don't worry too much. You're better than all of them, Sirius, and you'll be much happier as soon as school starts up. _

_I miss you._

_Marlene_

Sirius read the letter. No sense replying to it this late, but he couldn't help but smile. Marlene sounded as dry as always, but for the last bit. She was always receptive when he wanted to talk, and he tried to be likewise.

The next morning, Sirius gathered his things and left. He didn't even collect his brother as he customarily did. He just apparated to the train station. That was it: no goodbyes. He didn't want to say anything to them anyway. They'd get the message when they got wind he joined the Order.

He was early, but he boarded the train anyway, looking for Marlene. The Marauders would be goofing off until the minute the train left the station, not bothering to board yet. "Oi! I knew you'd be early," he laughed, entering the compartment she was reading alone in. Marlene looked up at him, smiling slightly.

Sirius paused for a long second. When had Marlene McKinnon gotten _pretty_? The hell? Or, rather, when had that mess of curly, oddly flipping blonde hair become attractive? It was still a mess, as usual, but..

Marlene watched him for a second, caught off guard by the almost accusing look he was giving her. "Um, hello, then," she greeted, closing the book on her lap and glancing up at him. "How're you?"

"Great, actually," Sirius said, recovering as he leaned against the frame of the door to the compartment. "Glad to be out of my house finally. And I know I don't have to go back. That's always nice."

"I'm glad to hear that for you. I don't think I'll be going home much either, actually," Marlene shrugged. "Dorcas and I are going to join after school, and my parents won't be too happy for me."

"Ah, well, it's good you're joining. I bet the Order could use you. Has anyone talked to you about it. I don't think It's an open club or anything," Sirius chuckled.

"I spoke to Dumbledore about it last semester. He said it would be acceptable. And you know how talented Dorcas is," Marlene explained. The Order didn't take mediocre witches and wizards. They didn't need mediocre, they needed the best. She stood up and climbed up to stand on one of the seats, rummaging through the trunk she had stored on the rack.

"You left your shirt at my house after you got it all messy," Marlene explained, tossing the Gryffindor Quidditch Jersey his way and climbing down.

"You mean, after your baby sister dumped her dinner on me. Be careful, McKinnon," he added, catching the shirt from the air and standing in front of her, hands on the rack she had just been searching through. "Someone sees you giving me clothes I left at your house, and they're going to get the wrong idea. Wouldn't want that, would you?" he challenged.

Marlene looked up and locked eyes with him. "Hmm...you're assuming that I find those assumptions displeasing."

"Is that why you kept inviting me over to your house this summer, then?" Sirius asked, arching a brow at the girl several inches shorter than himself. "Wanted me to leave more clothes lying around?"

"That, Sirius, is a crude thing to say. I was inviting you over so you could get out of your house," she laughed. Sirius was so close she could feel his body warmth radiating, and she wasn't telling him to sod off. Marlene was a seventh year, and she had never had a bit of fun. Sure, an occasional date to Hogsmeade, but...but no one who had ever sent her blood thundering through her veins.

Sirius' tongue wet his lips, and Marlene followed the motion, transfixed. She knew how Sirius was. It wouldn't be anything serious between them. Ha! Like she wanted such a thing anyway. She just wanted a bit more fun than she was getting. Seeming to test her, Sirius let one hand fall to her waist. "Marlene," he said slowly, "if you don't want me to snog you, you should say something now."

Silence.

Sirius grinned, using his hand on her waist to pull her closer and kiss her. It was nothing gentle. He had no idea why, in the last five minutes, he had ended up snogging Marlene. Not that he cared. He was running out of Gryffindors to snog anyway.

Marlene pushed against him, while one hand buried in his hair, pulling him closer. Their lips moved quickly, fiercely. Their tongues pushed against each other, desperately exploring each other. Something like a keening moan escaped Marlene's lips. "Fuck," she swore.

"You've never been properly snogged, have you?" Sirius asked, smirking as he pulled away from her. "That's a pity." He sat down on the bench and hauled Marlene close to him again. She yelped in surprise when she stumbled, falling into his lap. Before she could react, he was kissing her again. Somehow she found her way to straddling him as she kissed him back.

"Keep in mind, this is as awkward for you as it is for me," James said. Marlene pulled back immediately from Sirius, flushing bright red. "But I wanted to stop you two before you started shagging on the train and anyone else came along." Only then did Marlene realize that Sirius had been rolling his hips against hers, and she hadn't protested. Marlene scrambled off of Sirius' lap and stood up, straightening out her skirt. She looked between Remus, James, Lily, and Peter who were all at the door.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize how long-" Marlene stopped before she made an ever bigger fool out of herself. Sirius ran a hand through his hair. The hell had just happened there?

"Don't worry, Marlene. No one's upset with you. No need to apologize," Sirius added, not wanting to add to Marlene's upset and discomfort. Honestly, as if he hadn't found some of them in similar positions at some point.

"No, of course not," Lily interjected quickly, giving James a glare. "No problem at all."

"Well, I have a _problem_," Sirius mumbled as shifted in his seat, the beginnings of arousal making him rather uncomfortable. "Sit down, Marlene. No one wants to kick you out of the compartment," he chuckled, smirking when she sat as far from him as possible. She was still shooting glances his way, cheeks tinted pink and her hair more of a mess than usual.

What was Sirius getting himself into?

What the hell? Who cared.

It was seventh year.

_Please read and tell me what you think. This is going to follow the lives of Sirius and Remus just before they get involved in the war and until their deaths. Warning, it's going to be smutty. It's rated M for a reason. _

_Hugs and Butterfly Kisses_

_Maraud My Heart_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I don't own the characters or the world, just some of the liberties I've taken. _

The train ride was more than a little uncomfortable for Marlene. It didn't take her long at all to duck out of the compartment with Sirius and his friends, looking for Dorcas. She had to talk to _someone_ about what had just happened.

Dorcas was sitting in a train compartment with a few other Ravenclaws, and she looked up when Marlene walked in. Marlene grabbed Dorcas by the hands and quickly pulled her out of the crowded compartment, grinning. "You're not going to believe this," Marlene said quickly when the compartment door had shut behind them.

"Hello. My summer was good, and yours?" Dorcas asked, smirking.

"Shut up. This is important. Sort of," Marlene laughed, feeling herself blush again. "I-oh, Merlin! You're not going to believe it, I-" she cut off, laughing again. "I just...Sirius Black just snogged me." Dorcas arched a brow at her giggling, overly giddy friend.

"You're surprised?" Dorcas asked, slowly. "Sirius would snog anything with a pulse and a set of breats. You know that, right?"

"But-but he's never even flirted with me," Marlene argued, deflated by her friend's lack of enthusiasm. "I mean, you know how long I've been waiting for that. And it's Sirius, and..."

"And...I think you're being overly enthusiastic about a certified womanizer because you don't get a lot of attention from boys," Dorcas admitted, spreading her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I'm not trying to be a bitch or anything, but..."

"I-I dunno. What's wrong with liking snogging him? He's good at it," Marlene shrugged, ignoring Dorcas' rather fair assessment of Marlene's excitement. "I don't have a lot of fun, you know that. And it was fun."

Dorcas shrugged. "Well, then congratulations," she laughed a little. "I guess whatever you want is fine, then. How was it?"

"Yeah, but James kinda walked in on the incident," Marlene admitted, biting her bottom lip hard. "He was trying to be funny about it, I think. Absolutely humiliating. I was kind of...sitting on Sirius' lap, actually." Marlene scowled when Dorcas absolutely cackled at that.

"That's fantastic!" Dorcas exclaimed, grinning. "Just fantastic."

"Your excitement is at all the wrong places, you know that, right?" Marlene demanded, shoving some of the hair out of her face in exasperation. "But-yeah, alright? I had to tell someone about it, I suppose. And you're my best friend. So...thanks for listening."

"You're welcome, Marlene," Dorcas laughed a bit. "I'll be sure to let you know whenever I snog a complete git too. Now come on, let's sit down for the ride back in the compartment."

"I don't want to, those Ravenclaws are a bunch of swots. No offense to you, of course, but...but I'll go find somewhere else to sit for a while, I think. Thanks, though. It's always nice to have someone to talk to," Marlene added, smiling and waving a bit.

"So can we all address the hippogriff in the room?" James finally asked when the silence and stilted conversation became increasingly awkward between them.

Sirius ground his teeth together, glaring at James in response. "What's there to address, dear friend of mine? Lily, keep him in line, please?" he asked the redhead who was immersed in some book she was reading.

"I just think it's worth noting that you were snogging Marlene. You guys are friends...you don't think that's weird?" he asked Sirius, arching a brow.

"I think it just happened, and it was fun," Sirius snapped, irritated. "As if you haven't seen me snogging people before. It's not a big deal at all, and you're clearly overreacting."

"Just-don't take this the wrong way, but...but she's not the kind of girl you typically have your little trysts with, you know," James told Sirius, shrugging his shoulders. "I mean, you're usually after the pretty...giggling ones."

"Marlene's pretty. And she giggles...sometimes," Sirius muttered, rolling his eyes. "Whatever, doesn't matter. I'm allowed to snog whoever I damn well please, and if I want to snog Marlene, then it's my decision, isn't it?"

"No one's accusing you," Lily interjected suddenly, looking up. "Are you, James?"

"Course not," James shrugged. "Sirius knows that. I'm just...commenting on his recent escapade."

"It's not even a bloody escapade!" Sirius exclaimed. "It was ten minutes of snogging! And it was brilliant, and it didn't mean _anything_."

"Maybe that's the point, though," Remus finally chimed in. "It didn't mean anything, and...you're friends with Marlene and meaningless snogging seems like a bad idea in that sort of situation."

Sirius hissed irritably and stood, storming out of the train compartment. He didn't need to listen to them condescend to him right now. Maybe they were right. Sirius didn't really know at the moment, but he had never thought about the repercussions of anything, and he wasn't about to start now.

It was quite the relief, though, when the train finally ground to a halt. Sirius was quickly off the train and headed toward the carriages. The Marauders eventually all found their way to the same carriage. "Sorry I was being a prat," Sirius muttered when they, and Lily, had found their way comfortably onto the carriage.

"Nothing new," James laughed, punching Sirius' arm lightly. "Sorry if we irritated you," he added. Apologizing wasn't nearly so hard for James as it was for Sirius. Hell, James spent half his time after first year apologizing to Lily. He had sort of gotten used to the whole concept of being perpetually wrong.

James leaned over to talk to Sirius quietly, privately. "Honestly, I'd say you're pretty well off snogging Marlene. 'Cept for she's a Slytheirn," he laughed. "That's absolutely inexcusable."

"Eh, I guess that's a point," he chuckled. "Speaking of which, I'm going to go find Marlene before the feast starts," he added when the carriages all stopped in front of Hogwarts. He hopped out and was one of the first students through the doors of the building and into the Entrance Hall.

Sirius grinned as he waited. As quickly and surreptitiously as possible, he snagged hold of Marlene's arm and put a hand over her mouth to keep her from yelping as soon as he saw her. Quickly, he swung her around and into an alcove created by the trusses and architecture, pinning her against the wall. "Hi."

"That was a well-executed maneuver, Sirius," she told him, laughing a little and looking up at him curiously. "Hello," she added. It certainly wasn't lost on her how Sirius' hands were on her hips, and he was really, terribly, deliciously close to her. Marlene stretched up on her toes a little bit to kiss him. She wrapped her arms around his neck when he kissed her back.

Sirius gently ran his tongue over her bottom lip, waiting for her lips to part. When they did, Sirius responded eagerly, exploring her mouth, coaxing her to mimic him. The moan that came from the back of her throat made Sirius move his lips against hers with even greater fierceness. He pressed her hard against the wall behind them. He slid a hand from her hip around and down to cup her arse, pulling her up and against him.

Marlene inhaled sharply at the gesture, overwhelmed by the taste, smell, and feel of Sirius pressing in so tightly and completely against her. She breathed sharply, hands clutching at Sirius' robes desperately. "S-Sirius," she stuttered as she turned her lips from his. "We have to go to the Great Hall. Now. I'm a prefect," she gasped out. "They'll notice if I'm gone. Stop," she requested, groaning when his lips made a heated trail over her neck.

Reluctantly, Sirius let go of her. He wasn't one to snog and then let it go. He snogged. And snogged some more. And then snogged and shagged. And then everything inexplicably fell apart when Sirius wasn't looking for anything lasting with one of them.

"I'll see you after dinner," Sirius offered, a smile pulling up the corners of his lips. The wink that followed made Marlene flush from the roots of her hair to the base of her neck.

"Prefect," Marlene reminded him. "I have to show the firsties to their dorms and answer any of their questions. I can't see you again tonight. Sorry," she shrugged. Marlene straightened her shirt and robes out quickly. Sirius arched an eyebrow.

"There are other prefects, aren't there? Plenty of other prefects, as a matter of fact," Sirius told her. "I'm pretty sure no one will notice if you slip off for a while," he assured her.

"Listen, being a prefect means something to me, Sirius. I'm not going to skip out on them for a bit of snogging. I understand that I _could_, but I'd rather not tonight," Marlene shrugged. She gave Sirius' cheek a condescending little pat. "There are a dozen other girls that'll take you up on it. You're not _that_ good at snogging," she teased. As she walked away, Sirius grinned, catching up with her.

"I might've mussed your hair a bit," Sirius told her before she could reach the entrance of the Great Hall where a few students were still trickling in. "Either that or all that hair of yours has finally developed sentience." Marlene gave him a withering glance and pushed her hair as close into place as it was going to go.

So, Marlene preferred prefect duties to snogging? Sirius shook his head, thoroughly bemused by her behavior. He never could understand those sort of things.

When Sirius sat down at the Gryffindor table, a few laughs and giggles sounded. He looked down the table and winked at a group of fourth year girls and then turned his attention to his friends. "Sirius," Remus began, smothering a laugh. "You've got a bit of lipstick on your face."

"A bit," Peter snorted, laughing as well. Slightly bronzed lipstick was smeared over Sirius' lips. Even Lily was giggling now.

Sirius locked eyes with Marlene across the room and saw a tell-tale smirk on her lips. That was the _last_ time Sirius told her that her hair was a mess. She had left lipstick all over his face. Still, Sirius was grinning as he wiped it away with a napkin.

_Alright, ya'll are killing me. C'mon! I'd love _one_ review. Good or bad is fine, just let me know what you think. Also, I'd like to open a bit of a competition. This story will follow Remus. And, right now, I'm considering a romance with Dorcas Meadows, but I'm not sure. So, submit a character to me, and I'll consider her as a love interest opposite Remus. Either leave it in the review or PM it to me. _


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: This is a smutty chapter that takes place two months after the events of the first two chapters. If you've got a problem with very blatant shagging, I suggest you not keep reading this story. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Rowling doesn't write smutty stuff in her HP. _

_Several Weeks Later_

"You've all expressed interest in joining the Order of the Phoenix after graduation," Dumbledore began, looking at the group of students he had requested join him in his office. "I wanted an opportunity to make sure that you all knew exactly what you would be getting yourselves into. This is not...fun nor glamorous. If that was what you were anticipating, you should rethink."

"We want to fight Voldemort, sir," James spoke up. "We aren't under any delusions. We've all...we've all talked about it together."

"I'm going to make sure I have all of your names down so I may pass them along to the Order along with my recommendations. You are all talented witches and wizards, and I have been asked to examine any graduating students looking to join," Dumbledore responded. "Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Frank Longbottom, Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, Alice Rogers."

"That's all of us," Sirius agreed. His eyes flickered over to Marlene for a moment, watching her out of the corner of his eye. So she was really doing it then. He was thrilled, honestly. They were still snogging irregularly, in between classes, studying, and prefect duties. Admittedly, there wasn't a lot of time at all. Any time he had tried to get alone with her had turned into prospective members of the Order whispering under their breath about how they would go about it all once they graduated.

It had been two months since the Hogwarts Express had ground to a stop in Hogsmeade. As Dumbledore finished penning the names across a piece of parchment, they all stood up to leave, Sirius moving quickly to catch Marlene by the sleeve.

"Miss McKinnon, Mr. Black," Dumbledore said, looking up over his half-moon spectacles. The two halted. "I'd like to talk to the two of you alone for a moment." James gave Sirius a questioning glance and Sirius just shrugged, turning to go sit down in front of Dumbledore's desk again. Marlene sat in the chair next to his.

"Yes, sir?" Marlene hedged. "Have we done something wrong?" Surely no one had caught them snogging during her prefect duties last week. She couldn't imagine, even if they had been spotted, anyone would have taken the issue to the Headmaster. Besides, no one really knew they were still seeing each other in dark corners anyway.

"Have you?" Dumbledore asked, a smile playing at his lips and his eyes twinkling. "No. I just wanted to talk to you both a little more thoroughly about your decision. You both come from prominent pureblood families."

"I know where my loyalties lie," Marlene said at once, feeling embarrassed. Did Dumbledore think she was joining just to turn them over?

"We wouldn't-"

"You misunderstand," Dumbledore cut off Sirius' protest. "I think your intentions are perfectly honest. However, you will be marked as blood traitors by Voldemort and his followers. They will aim to kill you, not capture." 

"I've considered the risks, Headmaster," Marlene said after a moment's pause to really think about what he had said. "My family does not...fervently support the Dark Lord, but...well, yes, I know I will be marked as a blood traitor. I'm prepared to face those consequences, sir."

"I've already been burned off the family tree," Sirius laughed a little, lighthearted as always. "I spent my last few days at home this summer and gathered my things."

"As did I," Marlene nodded.

"Very well, then," Dumbledore smiled. "You are dismissed." Sirius stood up and offered his hand to Marlene. Giving Sirius a confused look, Marlene took his hand. He never did seem to fancy public displays of affection or even familiarity between them.

"C'mon," Sirius said, when they were out of the Headmaster's office, and he tugged her with him. "The Astronomy Tower's always nice. No one goes up there during the night. Seem to think the tower's locked or something."

"I-yeah, alright," Marlene agreed, letting him lead her towards the Astronomy Tower. The night air was chilling, and Marlene drew her cloak tighter around her. It really was nice though, and it was a rare clear night. She wasn't sure why Sirius was taking her up here, but she decided she didn't really care. Honestly, Marlene had no idea how she felt about Sirius. He irked her sometimes, especially when he flirted with any girl in a ten foot radius. She supposed that was to be expected though. It wasn't like she and Sirius were anything...official. She was no more lasting, she supposed, than any of the other girls he snogged. Though, admittedly, he never seemed keen on keeping his snogging them quiet. Marlene didn't know what to make of that either.

Sirius grinned at her cheekily. "That's the dog star, Sirius," he told her, pointing out a constellation that Marlene couldn't see.

"I always thought your head was in the clouds, Black," Marlene mused. "Should of known you were even further away than that. I remember being jealous of you when we were little and our mums would talk. You always wheedled your way out to play with the Muggles. I was always too scared to go. You've always been...miles and miles away."

Sirius watched her curiously as she spoke. "What do you mean?"

"You were always...I dunno. It's so hard to explain. But when I got to school I wanted to be like you. I wanted to tell me family to sod off, that I didn't care about blood status, but I couldn't," Marlene explained. "I felt like...you and I were in different universes. You were brave, and I was...not."

"Well, we're both here right now, aren't we?" Sirius mused. He played with her hair idly. "You're brave. And you're clever. I was always jealous that you managed to be...you without giving up your family."

"Nah, I just didn't give them up until now," Marlene laughed a little, frowning. "My little sister, I'm going to miss her the most. But maybe by the time she gets to school, there won't be a war to fight."

"I hope that's the case," Sirius said. "It's weird," he admitted. "It's...so real now. Last year me and James were almost joking about joining the Order. And now it's happening."

"It is," Marlene agreed. "So much is happening." It was true. Battles were being fought, people were dying. Friends were joining the Death Eaters. And...somehow, everything went on. The wheel turned. There were petty breakups to watch. She was snogging Sirius still, that was something. James and Lily were head over heels in love with each other. The seemingly trivial things were still happening every day. It made the news of the Order feel even more surreal.

Marlene leaned against the railing around the Astronomy tower.

"You're really, really...pretty, you know that?" Sirius told her, offhand.

"Well, thanks," Marlene flushed. "I suppose once you get past the...ridiculous hair, I'm not terrible to look at," she laughed.

"I like the hair, actually," Sirius told her. "It suits you." Marlene laughed, rolling her eyes at him. She wasn't quite convinced there was anything to like about her hair. It was just..odd. It wasn't curly, but still managed to make her look like some sort of troll with the frizz of it.

"You already know you're handsome," Marlene laughed. She smiled when he stepped closer to her. She touched his face, almost shyly, as if they hadn't been clawing at each other every chance they got lately. But it was different, talking like this. Sirius breathed out slowly, feeling heat creep up his neck.

"I have been told," Sirius laughed a bit. He put his hands on the railing she was leaning against, keeping her there.

"Cocky git," Marlene giggled. She turned her head up and he met her lips. She kissed him back slowly, sighing happily against his lips. She could understand, even if she did sneer at the girls that pitched themselves at Sirius feet. He was so easy to like. He was just...honest and magnanimous.

"Marlene." His lips brushed against hers still as he whispered her name, one hand moving to push her hair back behind her ear. He could feel Marlene tremble very slightly, and he couldn't help but smile. "I'm really glad you're joining the Order. Promise you'll be careful."

"No," Marlene said gently, smiling when he rested his forehead against hers. "You'd laugh if I asked you to be careful. The best I can do is hope you'll be alright and enjoy every second I do have. This is a war, if we were too careful, we wouldn't be doing our job right."

Sirius was quiet for a few seconds. "Fair enough," he finally agreed. It was easy, now, to remember why he had never, ever wanted to get involved with girls he was even remotely friends with. He couldn't tell if he cared about her because she was his friend or because he was getting in too deep. It was disconcerting, and he didn't know what to do about it except maybe just let it take its course, whatever it was they had together.

"What're you thinking about?" Marlene asked him after a while of quiet. She didn't move away from him, though, didn't shift. She was afraid he would realize just how...intimate this embrace felt and move away from her. He was so close. God, she was acting like some first year with a crush.

"You," Sirius smiled. He kissed her again, a little harder this time, one hand fisting into her hair, the other on her lower back. He pulled her in tight against him. This he could deal with, this was familiar. "Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?"

"Yeah," Marlene panted, dragging his lips back to hers and hitching a leg around his, entwining their legs as he pressed her harder against the short wall. She turned her head to catch her breath and groaned as Sirius kissed her neck, nipping at her pulse gently. Marlene gently pushed him away for a second. She shrugged off her cloak. "Wait a second," she requested. With a few muttered spells, she had transfigured it into a larger square of fabric and cast charms so the space between the edges was warmer and their breath didn't turn to smoke in the air. She sat down in the warm space, gesturing for Sirius to join her.

Sirius' breath picked up a bit when he leaned in to kiss her again and she slowly leaned back so she was on her back and he was over her, kissing her hard again. "What-what do you want?" he asked her between kisses. Merlin, she was so damn good at this. His heart was thrumming wildly, like she was the first girl he'd ever had under him.

"I don't know right now, Sirius. Just...I want everything because-" Marlene broke off and looked up at him. A moment passed between them, and she thought he understood. She could die soon after she graduated. Hell, she could technically die now if the Death Eaters ever decided to take Hogwarts. She wanted to experience everything, whatever that meant. Sirius nodded, dipping his head to kiss her again.

Sirius was almost strangely gentle. Sirius had a reputation, and while it certainly wasn't a bad one, it also didn't commend his patience highly. But he seemed to know that part of Marlene was scared. Because he spent a good twenty minutes just kissing her. His hands would occasionally travel over her sides, but he didn't rush anything. That was nice, definitely.

Marlene eventually loosened his tie with fumbling fingers, pulling it off first before she pushed his shirt off, still kissing him. She ran her fingers over his shoulders and down his back, curiously tracing every contour, then to his chest. She was eighteen, bloody hell! This was completely rational for her to be doing, right? She didn't want to think about it for too long, in all honesty.

Sirius took that as his cue to continue, and he made quick work of her tie and the buttons of her white school shirt. He kissed over her collarbone and down the valley between her breasts.

"It clasps in the front," Marlene murmured between quiet, almost embarrassed moans. Sirius nodded and disposed of her bra too. With that gone, Marlene felt far more vulnerable than she normally liked, but she wasn't going to act embarrassed. Her breasts were, perhaps, on the smaller side of average, but she thought herself reasonably well proportioned. Sirius certainly wasn't complaining as he swore under his breath. Merlin, she was beautiful. He grinned up at her for a second before cupping her breasts in his hands, trailing feather light kisses over the newly exposed flesh and smirking at the increase in volume her moans had taken up.

Sirius moved back up to her lips after a while, hitching one of her legs over his hip and pressing against her. They both groaned and Marlene arched into him. She felt absolutely uninhibited and it was glorious. Marlene was a clever girl, and she knew she would probably think of reasons this was a bad idea later, but right now her mind was in a haze, and she couldn't have stopped him even if she had wanted to right then.

After a bit of reluctant maneuvering, Sirius tugged her skirt and knickers off, then his pants. He paused and then kissed her again. He was about ninety percent sure she was going to stop him. They had gone straight from snogging heavily, the occasional brushes over clothes, to a moment away from full-on shagging. Sirius wasn't complaining of course. This was better than all the sillier steps in between, anyway. But he wasn't sure Marlene was going to allow him to continue. "Marlene," he moaned, surprised when her hand reached down to touch him over his boxers.

"You're totally sure about this?" Sirius asked her, bucking against her hand when she slipped beneath the cloth and closed her hand around him. Marlene was breathing too hard to really speak properly, so she just nodded her assent. If she was going to give herself to anyone, it may as well have been Sirius. He wouldn't intentionally hurt her, she knew, and there was a very real possibility she would have been happy to give him her heart too. She took the final step in pushing his boxers down.

Sirius pushed her legs a little further apart, taking his throbbing member in his hand and settling himself at her entrance. He waited for a final nod from her before thrusting quickly inside of her. He was surprised to see tears in Marlene's eye suddenly as she cried out quietly.

"You're a virgin?" Sirius asked her, feeling like a complete arse for not having realized before now. But that was about as coherent as his thoughts got. Other than that, he was completely entranced at the feel of her.

"Was," Marlene gasped out when the pain had subsided. It didn't help, she assumed, that he seemed _huge_. She didn't have much to compare against, but she was almost entirely positive that if he had been any larger, she would have split from the inside. Sirius gently rolled his hips against hers, creating little, painless movements.

"Fuck, Marlene. You-gods, you're tight," Sirius groaned. He had to grit his teeth then, take a few deep breaths, and try and think of something else for a moment before he blew his load right now.

"I-Sirius," Marlene gasped as she wiggled her own hips a bit. "More. Now, please." Sirius nodded, taking her with deep thrusts of his hips. Gods above, he had taken Marlene McKinnon's virginity in a spontaneous rendezvous on the Astronomy tower. "H-harder, faster," she begged now. Sirius was happy to comply as he sped up, hearing the slaps of their flesh as he drove into her, hands buried deep in her hair.

Sirius groaned, pulling out of her for a moment. Marlene whimpered. Sirius kissed her and pulled her up onto her elbows and knees. Sirius thrust back into her now, hands keeping her hips still as he moved faster than before.

Marlene practically wailed for him, and she bit her lip to muffle the noises. She had the distinct feeling that this was going to hurt in the morning, but Merlin, he knew what he was doing. Sirius liked taking women like this. It helped relieve some of the panic he felt when he nearly finished just watching those eyes of hers. After a while, though, he missed kissing her, so he brought them back to how they started as his thrusts became erratic.

Fuck, he was going to come soon, and he had no idea how close Marlene was. He reached between them and stroked her clit hard, rubbing hard circles. At least that had been the right thing to do. She swore loudly, his name mixed about evenly with expletives as her walls fluttered around him. Sirius gave another half dozen thrusts of his hips and spilled inside of her as her own orgasm rushed over her.

After another minute, Sirius managed to strength to roll off of her and pull her close. He had never really been a fan of cuddling, he preferred the good old 'wham-bam-thank you-ma'am', but his cloak really wasn't a proper blanket, so it only worked if she was close. That was his reasoning as he buried his head in her hair. "Marlene," he whispered. "I-I didn't realize you were giving me your virginity."

"I should have told you," Marlene admitted. "B-but Merlin, Sirius. Thank you. That was...it was spectacular, really."

"For me too, beautiful," Sirius agreed, stroking her hair as he closed his eyes. He had just shagged the only girl he was decent friends with. He had just fucked Marlene McKinnon, under the stars no less. Sirius was feeling more than a little smug as he began to doze off.

Marlene wasn't so sure Sirius understood quite how emotional it was for her right now. It had been so brilliant, and she could understand why the girls in her dorm raved about sex, but it had all happened so fast...but, no, she wouldn't regret it. She would just hope that she wasn't falling harder than Sirius was. She was definitely on her way to be another one of the pathetic girls in love with Sirius, she realized. Still, he looked so happy and content right now that she couldn't care too much. Already, though, she was feeling a soreness between her legs. While parts of their experience had been tender, Sirius had certainly been a thorough and...powerful lover when it came right down to it.

Sirius woke up the next morning alone. Marlene had gotten dressed and been worried he would wonder why she was still there. So she left and hoped that if it had just been a once off, Sirius had the decency to at least be kind to her about it. Had it been a mistake? Marlene didn't know yet, but part of her was afraid to hope for another gentle kiss from Sirius. No, she had probably crossed that threshold by sleeping with him.

Well, at least sex wasn't a mystery anymore. Marlene wasn't going to die a virgin, and that had been her real goal anyway. Sirius had just been a convenient person to ensure that with.

_Well, I hope you enjoyed the sexytimes. Is there anything you'd like to see happen, within reason? This story could, hypothetically, fit with cannon, and I intend to end it that way too. So just keep in mind there will be no children of Sirius to contend with and all the deaths that are supposed to happen will. I'd love requests, whether it's for interactions you want to see or smutty scenarios you want me to write. I'd love to try out anything, so long as I can figure out a way to work it into the plot._

_Every reviewer gets a cookie_

_MaraudMyHeart_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

"What's wrong with you?" James demanded of Sirius when his best friend slammed his books down on the History of Magic table.

"Nothing's wrong," Sirius insisted, rolling his eyes. He had to admit he was rather irritated with Marlene leaving without a word this morning. He had gone looking for her in the Great Hall, and she hadn't been there either. Well, she'd have to come to class, wouldn't she?

She did, as it so happened, and Sirius couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face as she took her usual spot at the desk in front of him and very gingerly sat down, seeming a little uncomfortable. She hadn't even glanced his way though. James looked over at Sirius and then arched a brow.

"Yeah, we did," said quietly, nodding at James' unspoken question. James grinned, elbowing Sirius' arm and then turning his attention to Professor Binns. "She's ignoring me now, though." James considered that but shrugged his shoulders.

"You may all spend this class period working on your essays. Voices at a whisper, please," Binns requested. Apparently, he had more important ghostly business to attend to. He floated out of the room now, and Sirius immediately looked up.

"McKinnon," he said, obviously loud enough for her to hear, but she ignored him still.

"Sirius," James whispered reprovingly. "I hardly think now's the time for you to have it out with your girlfriend."

"She's not-" Sirius began heatedly but James silenced him with a look. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Oi, McKinnon!" he said, louder this time, and Marlene turned in her seat to look at him.

"What?" Marlene asked him. "I'm trying to write my essay."

"Just wondering how you're feeling," Sirius said slowly, drawing some eyes of the other students. Marlene gave him a disgusted look.

"I'm just fine," Marlene assured him scathingly. She turned back to her essay, irritated at the way he was acting. He was being an ass, and she certainly didn't think she deserved it. Why did he have to call her out in front of the class like that? He was being an idiot, even if he wasn't blatantly obvious about what he was referring to. Dorcas was looking at her funny from across the room, which meant Marlene was going to have to explain it to her, instead of just keeping the whole thing a secret. Which she would have preferred.

"You didn't ask how I was, darling," Sirius drawled mockingly. He dragged his chair around and sat at her desk. Marlene had flushed from the roots of her hair to her neck now, and he got a slight satisfaction from it. Maybe if she ignored him, he would go away. No such luck, he just bent close to whisper in her ear. "You didn't stick around for all the pleasantries this morning; I thought I'd talk to you now."

"Sirius, leave me alone," Marlene muttered. "You're embarrassing me," she said.

"What an extraordinary change of sentiment," Sirius smirked. "I seem to recall quite a lot of begging-"

"You stop it right now," Marlene snarled. "You have no right to be like this." Sirius noted she looked somewhere between rage and tears. Their conversation was hushed, but she didn't like the frequent glances and multiple chairs angled their way to get a better angle. "I'd prefer not to talk about this with _anyone_, and you're going to get lots of uncomfortable questions asked now. I'm sure you've already told all your mates."

"Just James, but I'll tell the rest of them later," Sirius shrugged. No sense lying to her, he supposed.

"Which means Lily will find out, now Dorcas will find out because of the way you're acting, and if that many people know, the whole bloody school will know in a month," Marlene muttered, and she definitely looked close to tears now. "I knew this would happen."

"So now you're embarrassed that I deflowered little-miss-perfect," Sirius rolled his eyes, irritated. "You really weren't going to tell your best friend? I'm really having trouble figuring out why I'm _that_ humiliating."

"Can't we have this conversation later?" Marlene whispered, begging now. Sirius shook his head obstinately. Marlene was shaking in her frustration now, and she grabbed his shirt, tugging him closer so she could hiss in his ear.

"Then, fine. I'm humiliated because every girl at this school seems to have figured out what you are. I hear them all talk. They've gotten smart. They know what you do. You shag and you move on, and they're left crying. I'd rather not let anyone know that not only did I sleep with you, I gave you my virginity, because it was _stupid_. Do you understand that?" she demanded. "I was stupid because you showed me some stars and told me I was pretty and because I let myself think that you were Prince _Fucking_ Charming."

Sirius sat back, surprised at that. Well, he wasn't quite sure what he had expected her to say, but that certainly hadn't been it. "Sorry I'm such a letdown, then, _Princess_," Sirius shrugged. "Though, to be fair, you hardly gave me a chance to do or be _anything_."

"Don't act like you'd have treated me any differently than every other girl you've slept with," Marlene muttered. She didn't want to look at him right now, so she turned back to her essay. "I'm done with this conversation, Sirius. I've had enough for right now." She blinked back tears rapidly before they could fall. Merlin, she felt like a prat.

"Maybe you should have skipped class today if you're going to be crying," Sirius muttered, angry. He was angry at Marlene for leaving this morning, for telling him that having slept with him was _humiliating_, and for making him feel so damn guilty when he hadn't done anything wrong. He stood up and went back to his desk.

"Mate," James began, "you need to learn a little timing. I don't think that was entirely appropriate of a conversation for right now."

"Whatever," Sirius said, glaring at the desk. "She's being a bitch. Regrets it, I reckon. Well, most girls take a bit longer to spread their legs, so maybe that's it." James shook his head at his friend.

"Sirius, be a little more considerate, would you? Keep in mind that we're all friends with her. She's going to be in the Order. Maybe you should try and reconcile things instead of calling her a bitch and a slut," James suggested under his breath.

"Oh, I suppose she's friends with everyone now. Wonderful, bloody wonderful. Next she'll be shagging Remus," Sirius muttered mutinously. James thumped him on the back of the head. Sirius was like his brother, really, but sometimes he could be a real tosser.

"You're just all worked up because you actually like her," James sighed. "I've seen girls smack you across the face in the middle of the Great Hall, and you didn't act like this."

"Whatever. I don't like when she acts like this," Sirius insisted. "I'll be Prince Charming as soon as she's a bloody princess." The last part Sirius said under his breath, and James didn't quite catch it. Which Sirius was kind of glad for. James would no doubt tell him he was being a three year old about the whole thing. Maybe he was, but what the hell was Marlene's problem? Sirius didn't usually mind when girls got angry at him. Usually, they got angry for a reason. Marlene was upset because...well, he couldn't quite work it out. While Sirius was exceptionally talented at getting in a girl's knickers, he really hadn't the slightest on how to get into their heads.

Marlene took Sirius' advice after a few minutes of trying so hard not to cry and left the classroom. She was just...confused. The physical intimacy they had shared hadn't made them any emotionally closer, that was for sure. That was hard for her to accept, though maybe she should have known that. Marlene prided herself on being fairly intelligent, but, as much as she tried to deny it, she was incredibly naïve.

So she had lost her virginity? She wasn't any more informed for it. No, she was just all wrapped up in a lot of emotions she didn't know how to name. It had physically hurt to look at Sirius. There was no tenderness to their exchange. In fact, it seemed more like that quick shag they had shared had only driven a schism between them. And Merlin, she was so bloody sore. Marlene couldn't help but feel a little resentful; he should have been gentler with her after he realized it was her first.

Marlene had just been sick of being a virgin, of feeling sexually inadequate. Sirius had wanted her, and that alone could have enticed her. Not to mention she was terribly attracted to him. And they had been on top of the Astronomy tower, and it had all felt so...romantic. It had probably worked for Sirius before, she reasoned. Damn it, she was such an idiot!

Marlene walked briskly to the prefect's bathroom when she felt her eyes water and the tears start to fall. By the time she was there, she was crying rather freely, albeit silently. She ran straight into Lily. "Hello, Marlene," Lily greeted before noticing the blonde's tears. "Oh, Merlin! What's wrong?" she asked, walking back into the bathroom after Marlene.

"I-it's nothing," Marlene sighed, wiping her eyes hastily on her sleeve.

"Don't lie," Lily requested, frowning. "Come on, you can trust me." Marlene sighed heavily and sat down at the edge of the bath, looking at the shallow little pool that was normally filled with water.

"I suppose James'll just tell you later. Sirius can't keep his fucking mouth shut." Marlene ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at it a bit in her agitation. She hesitated now, but it seemed that Lily had already put two and two together.

"Oh, Marlene," she sighed, sitting down beside her. Lily couldn't help feeling a little angry. Surely Sirius was smart enough not to pull a move like that on Marlene when they were all friendly and joining the Order so shortly.

"I-he was just-" Marlene cut off, not knowing what to say, nor really what she wanted to say. "I mean, after Dorcas, Sirius is my best friend. And now we've gone and fucked it all up. Literally."

"He's so stupid," Lily groaned, shaking her head. "He-everyone can see the way he looks at you. He cares about you, I just know it."

"Lily," Marlene said, a tad sharply, "Sirius doesn't care about me. Not like that. I'm another notch on his bedpost, and-and pretending otherwise will just make it worse for me."

"I'm not lying to you. You think the rest of us haven't noticed you two sneaking off every chance you get?" Lily asked. She was surprised when Marlene leaned her head onto her shoulder, and was surprised again to notice that Marlene was crying again, shaking too. Lily stroked the girl's hair as she cried. At least Lily didn't have class until next period.

"I'm sorry, Marlene," Lily said. She wasn't sure she had ever seen Marlene, or any Slytherin really, look this vulnerable. It was almost disconcerting. Then, as quick as the tears had come, Marlene just...shut down. All the sudden, she was still and sitting upright. Marlene wiped her eyes quickly, with a cold sort of efficiency that was most definitely disconcerting.

Marlene still hurt, of course. She still wanted to be crying, but she knew it wouldn't do her any good. She stood up, embarrassed she had let Lily see her like that and quickly went to the sink, looking in the mirror and rinsing her face, hoping the cold water would make the redness surrounding her eyes fade quickly. She looked in the mirror until she was a hundred percent sure she looked calm, collected, and unaffected by anything that had happened.

"I-you alright?" Lily asked, standing up now and going to stand by Marlene. She nodded curtly in response to Lily's question.

"Of course." Marlene wouldn't cry over Sirius again, especially not in front of anyone. She was better than that, and she certainly wasn't going to be skipping anymore class because of any issues they had with each other. She pressed her lips together for a long moment, composing herself one last time before casting a quick glamour charm over her red-rimmed eyes, removing any evidence she had been crying over Sirius. "I have more important things to think about than Sirius. The Order, for example."

"Well, I'm glad...you're feeling better now," Lily hedged, making a mental note to beat the hell out of Sirius later today. Marlene was gone in another instant, and Lily was more than a little confused by the turn events. She supposed that was just another one of those silly Slytherin things. From what she could tell, they just couldn't stand the heart-on-your-sleeve emotions or the defenselessness that came with it. Wasn't it so much harder to pretend nothing bothered you? Lily thought it must be, but maybe she just didn't understand the fear of people _seeing_ you.

Class was just letting out, and Marlene headed towards Potion's, idling where Dorcas would be coming from, though she paused when she noticed that Dorcas and Remus seemed to be having some sort of conversation. Marlene waited around the corner, overhearing the last bit.

"I don't suppose you'd like to meet up at Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" Remus asked her, sounding fairly sure of himself. Dorcas responded in the affirmative without hesitation. Marlene pretended not to have heard when their paths crossed, and she took up at Dorcas' other side.

"See you around then," Remus smiled before turning off to go to his own class. Marlene felt...rather alone. Now Lily and James were head over heels for each other, everyone was waiting for Alice and Frank to announce an engagement, and Dorcas was agreeing to a date with Remus. Didn't she feel uncomfortable, now?

"I have a date with Remus," Dorcas told Marlene, smiling a bit. Dorcas had never really considered Remus very much, but she liked the idea of a date with him. He was clever and relatively charismatic.

"That's great," Marlene smiled. "You should have a lot of fun."

"Now, what was going on with you and Sirius this morning? That looked...tense," Dorcas said, looking over at her friend.

"Oh, that?" Marlene faked a laugh. "He's just all bitter that I left before he woke up this morning." Dorcas' eyes widened a tad.

"Do you mean to say that-you-you slept with him?" Dorcas demanded, incredulously.

"Yes. Wanted some fun," Marlene shrugged, playing it off. "Bit of fun, over. Guess he's not used to the one being left, but it'll all blow over soon enough."

"Are you sure about that?" Dorcas asked. "Seems like a big step to take."

"It's not a big deal, really," Marlene insisted, jumping when another voice sounded behind her. She whirled to see Sirius standing there, assessing her with some degree of distaste for a split second. Marlene narrowed her eyes.

"Eavesdropping now, Sirius?" Marlene challenged. "What the hell is even wrong with you?" she snapped.

"Should I go?" Dorcas asked uncomfortably.

"No, don't be silly. I was just going the other way," Sirius shrugged, irritated with Marlene and wanting very much to demand what Marlene even meant? Had it been a big deal? Were they going to do it again? Was she mad at him? What for? He just didn't get it. But here she was insisting that it had been a bit of fun and not a big deal. "Like Marlene said, not a big deal." The bitter part of Sirius added, "Certainly nothing memorable." Immediately upon saying it, he wished he hadn't. It had sounded meaner than he intended, and he could see the anger flash across Marlene's face.

"Certainly," she repeated crisply.

Marlene knew one thing. She was going to _burn_ Sirius from the inside out. She was going to make damn sure that she was memorable. He was going to remember how much he wanted her, if she had her say. And he was going to remember being turned away every, single time. Marlene had dealt with enough Slytherins to know how to play this game right. Manipulation was easy.

Sirius knew one thing. He was going to have Marlene _begging_. His ego didn't appreciate the slight from this morning, nor the way she had continued to act through class and now. He could bring her to her knees. In more than one way, he was sure. If she wanted to make this war, he could damn well fight. He had had enough women to know how to play the game right. Seduction was easy.

Review Please

MaraudMyHeart


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I don't own HP_

_*1 month later*_

"Hey, Marlene," Lily said, catching the girl on her way down to the Quidditch Pitch. Lily ignored some of the dirty looks the rest of the team was giving her. She had never been one for flying, but she could certainly enjoy a good game. So far as Lily could tell, Marlene was fairly good at it. Better, at least, than the Chasers that had graduated last year.

"Yes?" Marlene asked, quickly falling back from the group and smiling slightly. "Don't worry, I'll tell the Beaters not to pummel your boyfriend out there." Lily giggled.

"He could use a good beating, actually. But, no, James and some of the others were saying we-those of us joining the Order-should get together and talk. They've got some ideas to throw around, apparently," she explained. Marlene paused for a moment. That meant Sirius who, even after her vindictive convictions, she had been trying her best to avoid.

"Alright," she finally agreed. She smiled and then gestured towards the field. "I barely got them to agree to let me on the team as it is, I'd better get down there," she laughed. Marlene waved and then jogged the remaining distance to the locker rooms.

"Oh, Merlin! Mulciber, put some clothes on," Marlene requested, pretending to shield her eyes. If there was one thing that bothered her about being the only girl on the team, it was that they seemed to have no respect for social convention and the discomfort it caused her when they so casually stripped naked. She ducked an aisle over to change into her own uniform and then regrouped.

"We have to murder them today," Mulciber insisted. "I won't have us losing to Gryffindor again. We won against Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff shouldn't be a challenge." He glared at his team, as if he could scare them into a good performance. Honestly, it might work.

James examined his team slowly. "We have to destroy them today. I want their captain in _tears_ as he walks off the field. We won't lose to them."

"Hear, hear," Sirius grinned, stamping his teammate's Beaters bat on the ground loudly. He stood up when he heard Madam Hooch blow her whistle, signaling that the teams should take the field. "We'll win, just like always," he assured James as he passed. James smirked and nodded, swinging his broomstick over the shoulder and taking the field. He walked to the center to shake hands with Mulciber before they all took off into the air.

The whistle blew and the game began, the screams of the crowd rising at each pass of the Quaffle. Marlene did her damned best to ignore Sirius, and she succeeded pretty well, considering she rarely had opportunity to come into contact with other players. No matter how open she was, her teammates wouldn't throw her the damn Quaffle.

"Cover Black!" Mulciber shouted at her, and Marlene rolled her eyes but followed instruction, going to race alongside Sirius and ensure no one could pass him the Quaffle as they raced towards the Slytherin goals.

"How'd you get on the team?" Sirius snarked, trying to throw her off.

"Because I'm good," she snapped through clenched teeth. "And I'm willing to do everything the guys do."

"They don't usually let girls on the team," Sirius mused, laughing as she shoved into his side hard.

"Fuck off," Marlene snarled, eyes darting around the pitch, figuring he was trying to distract her. "I'm not in the mood, and I've got a game to play."

"You do that," Sirius said, patronizing her now. He dropped down quickly to evade her and someone threw him the Quaffle immediately. Faster than he could catch, Marlene had come between the Quaffle and Sirius, grabbed it and tore in the other direction, turning on a dime.

Passing several times back and forth, in a well-executed maneuver, she and Mulciber ran the Quaffle down the field until she put it through one of the hoops.

"Oi, Black! Get your head out of McKinnon's arse long enough to make sure she doesn't take the bloody Quaffle from your hands," McLaggen yelled, swatting a Bludger away, and Sirius hissed in agitation. Damn it all to hell. He was _not_ going to let Marlene get the better of him in front of this many people.

"Ten to Slytherin," the announcer said loudly, flipping the appropriate scorecard. The game progressed and the Slytherin team pulled ahead gradually. Sirius didn't like losing, and he fervently wished the Seeker would find the damned Snitch and win the game so he could watch the satisfied smirk on Marlene's face slide off.

"You shag him to get on the team?" Sirius asked, trying desperately to throw her off now. Marlene just gave a shrug.

"Yeah, two months ago, and then I managed to reestablish myself as a virgin in time to give it to another asshole," she answered shortly. "Why the hell would I do that, Sirius?" she asked.

"Just trying to figure out how you got on the team."

"As I'm kicking your ass from here to next week, I'd say that has something to do with it," she muttered, irritated with herself for even speaking with him. He didn't deserve a response when he was acting like an ass. That's it. He was never speaking again; she kept turning his words on him. Bitch. The game progressed, Slytherin pulling ahead slowly but surely as the minutes wore on. Marlene had been flying up and down the pitch so frequently, Sirius had all but given up trying to distract her by talking. She was _good_, and it was absolutely driving him crazy.

To his extreme surprise, though, the game didn't end with the usual, Gryffindor triumph. Slytherin's Seeker had actually gotten ahold of the Snitch. Sirius groaned in irritation, watching the Slytherin team converge on the Seeker with glee. He was so irritated and distracted, he didn't notice that Marlene was hovering silently behind him until she leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

"Better luck next time," she said quietly, and he could practically _hear_ her smirk without looking. Her lips brushed his ear, and then she was gone, landing, and Sirius was quite suddenly rock hard. He watched with white-hot fury as Mulciber hugged Marlene hard enough to lift her up off the ground.

"Better luck next time," James mused. "We can still win the cup," he assured his team as they all met on the opposite end of the field. "You guys played well. We've got a good team, and they just had a good game." Sirius was watching the Slytherin team carefully from across the field and, briefly, he met eyes with Marlene again. So, when she turned and planted a solid kiss on her Captain's lips, he couldn't help feeling it was meant for him to see. The action on her part elicited quite an immature series of _oooos_ from her teammates, but she didn't much care. First, she was ecstatic they had won. Second, she knew it would bother Sirius. Third, Nic Mulciber was cute. And he kissed her back with such enthusiasm, she couldn't help giggling when she had pulled away. She was sweaty and tired, but the smile across her face made it clear, even from where Sirius was standing, that she had never been more beautiful.

And she had turned all that lovely light onto Mulciber, and, really, it was Sirius' fault. He knew that. He clenched his hands into angry fists. Sirius went to the showers and attempted to rinse both the sweat and strange jealousy off his body. It made him feel all sorts of self-conscious, more so than he had been since second year.

At eight o' clock that night, the small group of students planning on joining the Order met in the back of the library.

"Where's Marlene?" Lily asked, glancing at her watch. It was ten past, now, and she hadn't shown yet.

"Shoving her tongue down Mulciber's throat, probably," Sirius suggested irritably. He knew this attitude wasn't going to help him at all, but he couldn't help feeling overwhelmingly angry and betrayed.

"Oh, Merlin, I so don't want to hear it," Dorcas snapped in response, arching her eyebrows. "Sod off, will you? If you want her, then do something about it. You're both complete idiots, you know that? You're acting like a two year old. You don't' have any sort of claim on her. She's my best friend, and I won't stand for you talking bad about her. She's not a slut; she's not a bitch; and she has every right to snog whoever she damn well pleases. Maybe Mulciber will treat her better than you did."

An awkward silence fell now. "You're right," Sirius finally ground out, mostly to diffuse the tension. Maybe she _was_ right, though. Did he want Marlene? Stupid question. To what extent did he want Marlene? That was better. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk about her like that. Especially not around you, Dorcas."

"Not ever," Lily suggested. "We're all on the same team, and if you can't be mature, then you should never have slept with her. No one hears her talk about you like that, and, frankly, it makes all of us uncomfortable. We all like her quite a bit."

At that moment, Marlene opened the door of the library, a good fifteen minutes late, and they ceased the discussion. She sat down, apologizing profusely before anyone could even greet her.

"I am so, so sorry," she explained. "It's just-well, I don't like to talk about the Order around my housemates. They don't really understand, and it could cause some problems for me, so I had to sneak away."

"It's quite alright," Lily assured her with a bright smile.

"Why won't you tell them?" Sirius asked, and Marlene looked at him. She didn't like the accusation in his voice, like she was a coward.

"I would, likely, lose my spot on the Quidditch team. My housemate's ribbing could very quickly turn to malicious harassment. There are a few joining the Death Eaters, and I am not entirely keen on the idea of making them angry when they can so easily reach me where I sleep at night." Marlene brushed her hair back, and Sirius noticed, suddenly, that it was sleek, her frizz nowhere to be found.

"That makes sense," James interjected now, giving Sirius a hard look. God, even James was starting to get annoyed with their antics.

"So, what are we hear to talk about?" Marlene asked curiously. She was wearing make-up, Sirius noticed. Her lipstick was a dark rogue. The freckle on her cheek was absent. Objectively, she looked quite lovely. Sirius couldn't help comparing her against the ecstatic and grimy girl that had been so triumphant on the Quidditch pitch. Quite simply, she looked like the girls he was normally chasing.

He didn't like it.

"Well, Alice discussed an interesting idea with me," Lily began, smiling a little. "Do you want to tell them? I already explained it to James, and he seemed to think it was a good idea."

"Well," Alice began, smiling a little. "I was-"

"Oh, my God!" Marlene squealed suddenly, beaming at Alice. "Oh, Frank, it's lovely," she added, and Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter traded confused looks. Lily and Dorcas caught on quickly though, grinning as well.

"Oh, Alice! Why didn't you tell me?" Lily demanded.

"I was going to," she promised. "Right after I mentioned the idea I shared with you earlier."

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Sirius muttered. Lily held up Alice's left hand where a ring caught the low light.

"Alice and Frank are engaged," Dorcas explained, as if they were especially slow. This revelation was greeted by a chorus of congratulations.

"Oh, Merlin! That's not what we're here to discuss," Alice insisted, but she was clearly pleased. A pretty blushed spread across her cheeks, and she and Frank traded looks so sweet they could have rivaled butterbeer.

"Then what?" Dorcas prompted, still grinning from the news.

"Well, we're all graduating at the same time," Alice began again, "and we're all going to be trying to find a place to live. I thought that, as we're joining the Order and will be targeted by Death Eaters, it might be beneficial for us to all go in together and get a suitable house instead of several different apartments," she mused. "Safer and cheaper. And not permanent, of course. But I just think it's a good idea for the first few months."

"I agree," Lily nodded and so did James. "The safety factor really is a good point. We're all new members. Or will be. We'll be easier targets alone."

"Yeah, okay," Remus nodded after a moment of thought.

"Definitely," Peter chimed in, smiling slightly at the notion.

"Marlene and I were going to get a flat together, but this works well, if that's alright with you, of course," Dorcas said, looking at her friend. Marlene hesitated for the slightest of seconds, her eyes darting over to Sirius and then she nodded.

"Yeah. It's a good idea. Until we all decide where we want to live or what to do with our lives, it seems like a great plan," Marlene smiled tightly. It hadn't escaped her knowledge that Sirius had yet to agree to stay.

"Alright," Sirius said grudgingly. He pressed his lips together and glanced at Marlene a second after she looked away. Was he really going to stay in the same house with her in just a couple months and act like she didn't make him incredibly on edge? He didn't understand how he could, but he knew that he would look like a complete asshat if he declined after everyone else had agreed. Marlene glanced at her watch and then back to Alice.

"You're brilliant," Marlene smiled slightly.

"And, while you're all here," Alice added, "I thought I'd let you all know that you're, of course, invited to the wedding. But it's going to be small. Just a few friends and family members. But I'd like the three of you to be my bridesmaids. Lily, my maid of honor," she added.

"Of course," Lily gushed. "Oh, I'm so happy for you two," she grinned brightly, squeezing Alice's hands briefly. Merlin, it all seemed so fast, but she knew that Alice and Frank had been together since fourth year. Besides, who knew how the war was going to turn?

After several more minutes of ecstatic wedding talk, Marlene glanced at her watch.

"I have to go," she announced, standing up.

"Why the hurry?" Sirius asked, without thought. The all-too-concerned question slipping out much too quickly. Marlene looked at Sirius, and he held her eye for several long seconds, searching her face. Was she going to meet Mulciber in some little corner?

"I still have prefect duties, you know," she told him quietly. There was a sort of regret on her face that made Sirius _ache_. Damn it, why was she looking at him like she was so sad? Marlene turned to leave, then back again when Sirius caught her hand.

"Can I meet you while you're on rounds?" Sirius asked, ignoring the stupid, sympathetic looks his friends were giving him.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Marlene hedged, squeezing his fingers once and then letting go of his hand and leaving the library. They both knew it wasn't the time, really. If they were going to be a part of the Order, live with each other, they couldn't keep up how they were. Marlene didn't want to hate him, so her convictions to _burn_ him were gone.

"Rough," James said, quietly. Sirius turned and glared at him.

"I don't care," Sirius snapped. "We snogged for a month solid, I was just wanting to again. Not like I can't find someone else just as easily." He watched with a vague sort of disgust as Dorcas and Remus sat together, heads close as they discussed the finer points of some essay.

Still, despite what Marlene had said, Sirius got up with the intention of following her. He could at least...talk to her. He wasn't good at talking, and they always ended up fighting when they talked, but did he care? He just felt like if he didn't say something now, he'd never be able to.

"Mar! Wait," Sirius requested when he found her a few minutes later, standing at the end of the hall and looking out a window. Marlene turned and looked at him curiously.

"What do you want?" Marlene asked as he approached. Sirius looked down at her, trying to find the right words.

"I-I don't know." And he didn't. "I don't want you to go around snogging Mulciber. He's practically a Death Eater."

"It was a one-time thing. He asked me not to do it again," Marlene admitted, voice catching slightly. "It was sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing. High on the adrenaline of the game. I don't intend to do it again."

"Why'd he ask you not to?" Sirius asked, catching the slight upset.

"_Marlene, it's not that you're horrible. It's just I don't want Black's leftovers._ Then some nonsense about me being a blood traitor and bad for his reputation," Marlene explained, shrugging. Might as well be honest with him.

"Oh," Sirius said, scratching the back of his head. "You know, I didn't want you to be leftovers. I wasn't intending a once off. I'm sorry for the things I said," he admitted in a rush. Marlene watched him carefully, looking for another edge to his words. Being anything more than a once off scared her.

"I didn't give you a chance. I was more comfortable being a quick shag. _Am_ more comfortable," she corrected herself.

"Explain."

"You have a reputation for getting girls, using them until your short attention span strays, then dropping them without a warning. They're always in love with you by the time they get to be dropped. I didn't want that to happen to me," Marlene explained slowly. "I am...afraid of getting hurt by you when I have to be around you so much after graduation. It would make things uncomfortable between us and our friends."

"You're scared. You left because you were scared," Sirius translated.

"Does that really still bother you? That I left in the morning? If I had known you'd be that upset, I might have just stayed," Marlene sighed. She flushed when he reached over and ran his thumb, a little roughly, over a spot on her cheek.

"It's a freckle, Marlene. You don't cover freckles," Sirius muttered, irritated. Marlene blushed brighter still at that and backed away a little.

"What do you want?" she asked again. "Not just now, but from me in general?"

"I want you to be...willing to give me a chance," Sirius finally admitted, sighing a little. "I know we could die pretty soon, and I don't want to waste time wondering if we might-have something." Marlene was taken aback by the conviction.

"Are you serious?"

"Is that a joke about my name?" he challenged, grinning at her now. "Yes, Marlene. I'm very serious. I can't make promises, but I wasn't ready to let you go then, and...damn it, I haven't been able to so much as kiss a girl since then. I-I want _you_." There it was. Sirius had just put all his cards on the table, and she could do with them what she wanted. She had to decide if she was brave enough to take the risk.

"Yes, alright. I'll give you a chance. But a chance to try, not to go back to snogging in corners and shagging in secret," Marlene finally agreed. "If you really do...care about me at all, you'll do that for me. I don't want you assuming it's a given that I'll do anything with you. You can spend time if this, if I'm going to...put myself out there like this.".

"Fair?" Marlene clarified when she had finished.

"Fair." Sirius smiled, happy with the conditions. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun on prefect duty." He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek before walking away.

_Read and Review. Seriously, Review. _

_MaraudMyHeart_


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter nor the characters and ideas associated with it._

Sirius sighed, tugging on a lock of Marlene's hair impatiently. "Enough studying, Mar. You've got an internship with the Curse Breakers all lined up; you've been offered a spot in the Order. Why do you have to study so much?"

"You're just bitter because you want to snog," Marlene told him, barely looking up from her book. Sirius had done this 'playing nice' thing fairly well. He knew he had a long way to go with Marlene. Damn, she could be so fucking difficult. They fought like crazy every couple of days for the last few weeks, but then she would kiss him lightly, and he wouldn't know how to stay angry. She could just widen her eyes a little bit, and he wouldn't know how to stay angry with her.

The worst part was that she knew exactly what she was doing. She'd end it with that little smirk, and it would drive him up the wall. She accused _him_ of playing _her_? God, she could tug him along, and she loved doing it.

"Maybe I am," Sirius finally retorted. He brushed her hair off her neck lightly, smirking when he saw the little goosebumps following his touch. Sirius suddenly straightened up, as if electrocuted, and he pawed violently through his bag, closing a hand around a little calendar he carried, that was, ideally, for keeping track of homework. Marlene really wasn't paying attention to him at the moment, so she didn't much notice anything but that he wasn't touching her anymore. That was probably a petty upset, and now she could concentrate a little easier.

Sirius scanned through the notebook and then nodded. "I ought to go, Marlene. I forgot I'm supposed to be doing something with James, Remus, and Peter tonight." Marlene looked up and searched his face, looking at her watch.

"Well, alright then," she agreed, wondering what he had remembered so quickly. It wasn't that Sirius didn't trust Marlene, but he didn't know how to bring up the fact that one of his best friends was a werewolf in normal conversation. Plus, when it came down to it, the secret wasn't Sirius' to tell. He leaned down and kissed Marlene, a little startled when her hand caught the back of his neck and held him closer for a few long seconds while she kissed him back. She only did it because she knew he had to leave, just teasing him. She had been remarkably cool with him when it came to physical affection, and he found himself a little irritated by it now.

"Do you want me to ditch my friends?" he asked, challenging her as he took her hand from the back of his neck.

"I'm not allowed to kiss you goodbye?" Marlene asked, arching her brows at him.

"You're confusing, Mar, you know that?" Sirius sighed, running his hand through his hair and then shrugging. He couldn't ditch his friends, and he hoped she would understand that. "If you're going back to your dorm now, I'll walk you," he offered.

"I'll be fine. Remus asked me to cover his rounds tonight, so I won't be going back for a while. I suppose that has something to do with your plans," she laughed slightly and then stood up. Sirius shrugged and grinned at her.

"Maybe it does. How do you know I'm not off to snog some other girl?" he teased, walking out of the library with her.

"Because I trust you not to," Marlene said easily, as if it was the most natural answer. Him cheating on her really hadn't crossed her mind. It just didn't seem like something he would do, and she had never heard anyone complain about it. Sure, he tended to move quickly, but she had never heard rumors of him cheating on anyone.

"Well, that's good." He looked out the windows. He had a little while before it got dark, and James could handle it anyway, for a while.

"Plus, I'd find out, or you would tell me. You've got a guilty conscience. Then I'd probably dump you on your arse. Scratch that. I'd definitely dump you on your arse," Marlene promised him with a laugh.

"Sounds like you've got a plan for everything," Sirius mused. "Let's go out to the grounds for a little while," he suggested to her. "It's nice out, and I have a few minutes. I'd rather spend time with you now than in the library," he admitted, making a face at the thought. Marlene nodded and walked outside, glad that she wasn't studying for the moment. It wasn't exactly what she'd call fun.

She glanced down at the Black Lake and watched as shapes flickered just under the surface, occasionally rippling the water. "You excited to leave Hogwarts?" she asked Sirius curiously.

"In a way. I'll be sad to see it go, but I'm incredibly excited for everything that's next." Sirius shrugged as they approached the lake, wondering if that included Marlene. Did he want it to? He certainly didn't know how to talk about it, if he did. And he hoped Marlene wouldn't bring anything like that up. Maybe they could just keep up this strange semblance of a relationship. It was surprisingly easy, considering it was somewhere between friends with benefits and actually dating. Course, he wasn't really getting any of the _benefits_ of friends with them.

"Want to know a secret?" Sirius asked, grinning at her suddenly. He glanced around and made sure no one was around. Marlene looked at him, confused by his sudden enthusiasm but nodded.

"Sure," she answered.

"Promise you won't tell anyone. It could get me into trouble," Sirius warned her.

"Promise."

"I'm an unregistered Animagus," Sirius told her without further pretense. Marlene laughed and shook her head.

"Haha," she mocked, rolling her eyes. "You're being an idiot. What's the secret?" she asked. Becoming an Animagus was seriously hard, and while she knew Sirius was more clever than he let on, it seemed unlikely that he could muster the careful attention becoming an Animagus would take.

"You don't think I can do it?" Sirius asked Marlene. "Merlin, glad to know you have so much faith in me, Mar."

"Prove it, then," Marlene challenged, folding her arms and smirking at him. Sirius barked out a laugh and then shrugged off his heavier cloak. He took out his wand and then gave her a wink. In a moment, Sirius was gone, replaced by an obscenely large dog, panting.

"Oh, my God! You are!" Marlene giggled. "And you manage to maintain that goofy, stupid look on your face, even when you're a dog." She shrieked indignantly when Sirius bounded at her and leaped, knocking her onto her arse and licking her from chin to forehead. "You're disgusting!" she accused, but she was laughing brightly as she shoved him off and got to her feet again. "Ow," she complained, rubbing her tailbone.

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?" he asked, suddenly Sirius again. Marlene shoved him hard now, laughing again.

"You're just as disgusting as a human, you know that?" she demanded.

"Marlie, dearest, you wound me," Sirius drawled.

"Shut up. Don't call me Marlie," she requested, rolling her eyes at the nickname. "My little sister, Emma, calls me that. She's the only one that's allowed to."

"Touchy. How come you don't mind when I call you Mar?"

"It sounds better. I probably wouldn't let anyone else call me Mar, for the record," she added thoughtfully. "No one else ever has."

"Careful, Marlene, I might start to think I'm somebody special," Sirius warned. Marlene regarded him thoughtfully and smiled.

"You are, I suppose," she allowed, pulling him into a kiss and sighing happily against his lips. Sirius tensed for a second, wary of the familiarity a bit. This felt a bit too personal, with the teasing and the flirting and considering he just told her a secret that, previously, only his three best friends had known.

Marlene felt the tension in his shoulders and she pulled away. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sirius assured her, sliding a hand down to her lower back and then kissing her to keep her from asking more questions. He certainly wasn't going to talk about it with her. For the life of him, Sirius couldn't remember the last time Marlene had let their snogging go on this long, and he certainly wasn't complaining. Quite suddenly, Sirius pulled back from her and put a finger to her lips, listening hard.

"Damn it," he muttered, hearing what could only be Remus at the full moon. How had he lost track of time on tonight? He could see the moon low in the sky. He shot Marlene a nearly accusing glare before a shriek could be heard. At the same time, they were both sprinting in that direction after the noise. Before Marlene could demand what was going on, Sirius was back to being a dog and stripping ahead of her as they both approached the source of the noise.

Marlene's eyes widened when she finally saw what was happening. A beast of some sort, looked like a werewolf, was huge and wild, and Dorcas had her wand out and a series of shallow gashes on her arm. Marlene's own wand was out, and the spell that would kill the thing was on the tip of her tongue, ready to take out the thing if it showed another sign of advancing.

"We were trying to wait on you, and then he changed, and we couldn't stop him," James was panting in human form before turning into a stag. "Explain, Peter," he requested just before changing. Peter wasn't of much use right now, trying to heard Remus off. Marlene was staring with wide eyes, but the werewolf seemed under control.

"Dorcas came across us. Came to say hello to Remus. He changed," Peter explained to Marlene in quick sentences. "We were waiting on Sirius before we left. See he's got his priorities a little skewed." There was an especially loud snarl from the giant black dog at that.

"Are you serious?" Marlene demanded as she comprehended the situation. "Remus is a werewolf, and you thought it wasn't worth telling those of us who were working with him? He's put us all in danger. I don't trust two unregistered Animagi to keep a werewolf from hurting someone. He's already hurt Dorcas!"

Peter stuttered for a second. "It's-it's none of your business."

"Like hell it isn't. This is ridiculous!" Marlene practically screamed. "You should have told us! The whole bloody school should know! She could have been killed." She was screaming now.

"I don't have time for this bullshit. We're leaving," Peter snapped, surprisingly stern in that moment. Marlene arched her brows. "Sirius, your girlfriend's a bitch." She glared and crossed her arms tightly.

"Fucking ridiculous, this is. I can't believe the irresponsibility of-" Before Marlene could further her raving, Peter was a rat, and there was suddenly the muzzle of the black dog that had been Sirius before in her face with teeth bared. He snarled loudly and snapped his teeth close to her face, sending her reeling back onto her arse before shoving at the werewolf until they were moving in the other direction.

Marlene was seething, but she put an arm around Dorcas' shoulder. The girl seemed to be in something akin to shock. "You okay?" Marlene asked.

"Fine," Dorcas said. "You didn't have to lose your temper like that. I'm fine. It's not Remus' fault." Marlene felt stung by that. She had been plenty justified in her upset. Perhaps a little louder than necessary, she would concede, but certainly not unreasonable. Her best friend could have been killed because the Marauders were so concerned with preserving their friend's reputation.

With a sigh, Marlene steered Dorcas towards the castle. "Let's get you to the hospital wing."

"No. I'll take care of it. Too many questions," Dorcas explained.

"Are you honestly serious?" Marlene snapped. "You too? Don't you see this is more important than the four of them staying out of trouble?"

"No, it's not. They've handled it so far. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I won't compromise them for a few scratches," Dorcas explained easily. The bleeding was already staunching. It hadn't been an intentional attack from Remus, just a reflex to her proximity at the time of the change.

"How charmingly Gryffindor of you," the blonde girl drawled out irritably. "They didn't handle it this time, and that's enough."

"Only because you were busy shoving your tongue down Sirius' throat," Dorcas snapped. "_This_ is more important than whatever obsession you have with him." Marlene thought that was rather unfair. She hadn't known. Sirius had said he needed to go, but they had gotten distracted and...Well, it wasn't her fault.

"Fuck off," Marlene suggested shrewdly, walking off without another word. Let Dorcas deal with her own wounds. She felt personally victimized, dramatic as that sounded. Peter, Sirius, and Dorcas had snapped at her because she was concerned in relation to safety and werewolves. What was wrong with that? Was it not perfectly reasonable? No doubt, Sirius would have something to say soon.

She wasn't wrong in her assumption that she would hear about it later. In fact, Sirius didn't even give her until a reasonable hour in the morning. Apparently, as soon as the sun had broken the horizon and Remus was sane again, he decided it was an appropriate time to have it out. She was sleeping, albeit fitfully, when a housemate of hers threw back the curtains of her four-poster and tapped her leg none too gently.

"What?" Marlene demanded, sitting up and pushing her tangle of hair out of her face. She glanced at her wrist before remembering she had taken off her watch.

"Sirius Black wants to talk to you," the girl, a sixth year Slytherin, told Marlene. "I was down in the Common Room...busy, when he started banging at the entrance. Seems...urgent," she drawled in distaste. "Actually, he specifically mentioned he needed to talk to you about Order business. Didn't tell us you were joining up with the righteous pricks, McKinnon."

"That bastard," Marlene snarled. "It's none of your concern, but he knows damn well I wasn't keen on talking about it." She was muttering under her breath now as she stumbled down the stairs in her sleep-foggy haze.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sirius?" Marlene demanded the moment she laid eyes on him outside of the Common Room. "I told you my housemates weren't to know about the Order."

"Too bad. You don't get to be a coward anymore. You get to grow up," Sirius snapped. He was mostly angry at himself, for losing track of time and forgetting about Remus for even a moment. On the full moon, Sirius shouldn't have any other priorities. But it was easy to be angry at Marlene, and she had been a complete bitch earlier about the whole thing.

"Coward?" Marlene repeated. Was that honestly what he thought of her? "I'm sorry that you think so little of me because I'm trying to stay alive and well. We can't all be fool-hardy and suicidal like you."

"Yeah, you made it clear how you felt about that earlier," Sirius snapped. He took Marlene by the arm and dragged her down the halls to find a more private place to talk, finally settling on a broom closet.

"You're just looking for a fight!" Marlene accused. "We can't go three days without fighting."

"Because you're a selfish bitch," Sirius snarled. "The way you acted-ugh. Do you have any idea how Remus is feeling right about now? You're lucky he can't remember what you said. He's not an animal. He's got a problem, and he's my friend."

"That's fine. That's all well and good, and you know I want nothing but the best for Remus, but I can't help thinking it's incredibly irresponsible for such a thing to be going on and no one knows. Dorcas could have been killed," Marlene insisted.

"She wasn't. She was barely hurt. She took Remus' side too. Don't you dare ruin this-this life at Hogwarts-for Remus," Sirius snarled, glaring down at her.

"The way you ruined mine?" Marlene demanded. "Throwing around the fact I'm joining the Order. Do you have any idea the shit that's going to come down on me for that?"

"Get over it! Stand up for something, damn it!" Sirius snarled, using tight hold on her arm to shake her once. "I've been doing it for years. Honestly, I'm not sure why I bother with you. You're too scared to really stand up for what you believe in. Do you even care about the Order, or is it your best chance of staying alive?" That, honestly, hurt, and Marlene could feel the tears stinging her eyes, but she blinked them back.

"You're a dick, you know that? I can't stand you." Eyes flashing, she glared back at him. "You're a hypocrite. You act like you're so loyal to your friends, always looking out for them. What am I to you if you can say anything about me to my housemates. Don't call me scared, when you're terrified."

"You don't know a thing about me, McKinnon."

"Cut the bullshit, Sirius. Don't switch to surnames. Don't pull the 'misunderstood' card. That might make the other girls swoon, but it won't work on me. I know plenty about you. I know you're scared to lose your friends. That's something. I know that you're terrified of your own emotions, no matter the kind. I can tell by the way you tense up whenever we have a remotely intimate moment. Like it or not, I do know you," she hissed. "And you know what? I'm joining the Order to fight! I'm joining the Order because it's the right thing to do. If I wanted to stay alive, I'd join the Death Eaters. The Order doesn't kill; the Death Eaters do, in case you're still confused." She hurt by his accusations, and she was furious he had the audacity to make them. She wasn't a coward. Was she? Marlene stood a little taller in her convictions and met Sirius' eyes defiantly.

"I don't care what you think of me. I'm not joining the Order for safety, and I'm not joining for _you_." Marlene was sick of tiptoeing around Sirius and hoping he wouldn't break things off with her. "You're the selfish one, not me. Maybe I owe Remus an apology, but I don't owe you anything, You're so desperate for a fight, you've changed what you're angry about. Go ahead. What do you want to scream about now?" she challenged.

Later, Sirius would look back at that moment and decide it was the moment he fell in love with Marlene. She was so sharp. She was a bitch. She was a thousand different things, and she wasn't afraid to be mean to him. That was something. He'd think about the way her eyes narrowed and hands found her hips with a fond smile later. She was furious and beautiful.

Now, Sirius couldn't imagine hating her more. He hated that she was _right_. He hated that he had chosen her over his friends, if only for a minute. Everything about her, for that moment, was repulsive. He wanted to cringe away from her. "You know what? I'm done. You do whatever the hell you want with your life." He hated that somehow even with the way her hair stood up in every direction and wearing wholly unflattering pajamas, she was pretty. And all the sudden he was breaking up with her, because she was right. He was terrified of her. "I'm not looking for a fight; I just can't imagine a more disagreeable person." She made him so _furious_.

Marlene looked up at him, arms crossed tight over her chest. "I'd say we should break up, but you maintain to anyone that will listen that I'm not your girlfriend."

"That's such bullshit, Marlene," Sirius snapped. "No one asked. I didn't say anything one way or the other. It's no one's god damn business what we were to each other."

"You're right. It's not. Better than trying to explain that I care so much for you that I'm willing to let you walk all over me, and all you want is sex," Marlene accused.

"Clearly it's not, seeing as you're not giving it," Sirius snapped back.

"Already did, and you acted like a dick about it. Sorry, not keen to repeat."

"What the hell are we even fighting about now?" he asked her, suddenly quite drained of anger.

"Apparently, everything." She pressed her lips together and shook her head. "Listen, I'm sorry about what happened with Remus. I was scared, and I still think you're being irresponsible, but...but of course I wouldn't tell anyone. You know me better than that, I thought. The rest of it...well, I don't owe you any more apologies."

"Do I owe you an apology?" Sirius asked cautiously.

"You have to ask, really?" Marlene shook her head. "You accused me of being a coward, of joining the Order for protection, of being selfish, and now you're on about me not having sex with you." She felt tears well in her eyes and she shoved past Sirius' shoulder, leaving the broom closet.

"Marlene!" he protested. "You know I didn't mean that stuff. I say stupid shit when I get upset." He followed her now, irritated with himself.

"No, I don't know what you did or didn't mean, Sirius." Why did she hesitate? She just needed to walk away from this situation once and for all.

"Stop being melodramatic," Sirius requested. "You want me around. And-and I want you around, alright?" Marlene just laughed now.

"We're...there is something wrong with us," she mused, rolling her eyes. "Rationally, we need to stop seeing each other in a romantic fashion. Neither of us are happy with it."

"Then are we going to stop?" Sirius challenged.

"Only if you want to," Marlene retorted. Sirius laughed, shaking his head. "Do you want to come sleep up in my dorm. I could sneak you in." He tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed. She'd undo him. "You look tired, and I should have told your housemates about the Order. I don't want them hurting or harassing you. I'm just...hotheaded."

"You're not forgiven," Marlene warned him. "But yes, sneak me into the Gryffindor dorm."

"How will I ever earn your forgiveness, Lady McKinnon?" Sirius asked, touching her lips with his thumb gently. Marlene flushed and then glared.

"I hate you, you know." Marlene knew she was being silly. It wasn't right to forgive him. It wasn't right to keep this up, but she wanted anything that made her happy. It seemed so unlikely that they would both come out of the end of this war alive and unscathed. And, whether she wanted to admit it or not, she cared deeply for Sirius. So maybe it was time to stop being so detachedly Slytherin with their relationship. Sirius put his cloak and an arm around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry about earlier. Really. I shouldn't have been so cross with you. I forget how abnormal and terrifying it must have been to see a werewolf. I've been dealing with it since third year." Marlene was quiet, thinking it over.

"It's...brave of you to do so for a friend. I envy your...courage." That itself was a difficult admission for her. She felt vastly inferior from the rest of those she knew to be joining the Order.

"I'm not so brave as all that. It's easy to deal with a werewolf, honestly." He paused outside the Gryffindor common room. "You're far more difficult than that for me."

"You know how to flatter a girl, calling her worse than a werewolf," Marlene smiled.

"Well, you're prettier, I'll give you that. But...well, you scare the hell out of me. I'm trying hard, though. To work out what to do with you, how to feel about you," Sirius told her. "Why do you think I let you tug me around so much? We both know what you're doing." Marlene flushed a little.

"I should apologize, but...I'm not really sorry. It's fun, and it's harmless." She kissed him lightly.

"I'm trying to get at something here. You're distracting me," Sirius accused, pushing her back and holding her at arm's length. "I-I know I'm a prick sometimes. I hate when I hurt you. I know I do it too often. Ugh, I'm terrible at talking. Usually I just snog. But I have to stay something occasionally. I care a hell of a lot about you, and I think you're brave, no matter what I said." Marlene smiled and kissed him again.

"We're joining the Order in exactly a month. Let's just put today behind us," Marlene requested, not wanting to consider the things either of them had said.

"Fair," Sirius agreed, taking her into the common room and to his dorm. "You can have my bed."

"I can share, you know," Marlene laughed. Sirius nodded and changed into his pajamas, laying down beside her and, hesitantly, putting an arm around her waist. How strange, lying so close to her. The last time he had been so close...Sirius cut off that line of thinking and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sleep before I get a bad idea," he told her, smiling. God, he was an ass, wasn't he? Spouting off about the Order because he had been angry. Luckily, there was just a month before they graduated. Marlene was out in only a minute, and, Sirius noticed, she snored lightly. He'd have to tease her later.

_Read and Review, please._

_I'm not terribly fond of this chapter, but it was important in moving the story along. The majority of it takes place while they're members of the Order, so I'm trying to keep the story moving without skipping too much time. I thought it important to establish the conflict Sirius has between friends-Marlene-Order, and where his priorities should be versus where they are. It creates an important bit of tension between all the characters._


	7. Chapter 7

_I'd like to thank my reviewers immensely! I love hearing from you all. I'd love to hear from more of you. ;) Sorry this chapter was so long coming out. I rewrote it several times before I liked it enough to give to you guys. I hope you enjoy reading it. I had a good time writing it._

_oh...I don't own Harry Potter. In case you were wondering._

Sirius was quiet for a long time, watching the grounds from the window of his dormitory. His roommates had all gone off to class, but he hadn't been willing to wake Marlene (who was very much a bed hog). He glanced over at her, grinning briefly to himself. Her hair was everywhere, practically covering the entire pillow; her mouth was agape. The grin quickly gave way into a heavy frown though. He'd had several hours to think about everything that had happened last night and everything that would happen over the next few months.

Before he could go about getting dressed for the day, Marlene woke and smiled sleepily. "C'mere," she mumbled sleepily, extending a hand in his direction. Sirius approached her slowly, unable to keep from laughing when she took his hand and tugged him back to the bed.

"Good morning," he teased, already losing track of all the things he had concluded earlier. She hitched a leg over his to keep him close. "Sleep okay?"

"Fine." She played with some of his hair, leaning in to kiss him. Sirius kissed her for a moment before pulling back.

"Glad you're not mad at me anymore," he said quietly.

"I'm always mad at you, Black," she corrected. Marlene closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She liked this, just kind of lying here with him. "But not too mad."

"Good enough." Marlene squirmed a bit, trying to maneuver around him within the confines of the small bed.

"Alright there?" Sirius laughed, not sure how to feel about all this right now, considering he knew he was going to have to end it very soon.

"Yeah, I'm good." She had settled for lying on her stomach, torso overlapping his a bit. They were silent for a while, and Marlene could practically hear the gears turning in Sirius' head, and she was suddenly tense. "You're still mad at me."

"I-Marlene-" Sirius stuttered over the words. Marlene sat up, now, crossing her legs and looking down at him, eyebrows drawing together briefly.

"You're scared again." She wasn't asking. She leaned down and kissed him softly, sighing when he didn't respond and backing off.

"I'm not scared."

"I think you are. I was so content I could have died, and it was with you. That scares you," Marlene insisted.

"I'm not scared-that's stupid, Marlene. I've been thinking about it all morning."

"What's _it_?" Marlene demanded, figuring the other shoe was about to drop. Sirius was quiet for a bit, trying to figure out the words.

"We've got to stop seeing each other," Sirius insisted finally.

"Now you sound like an idiot," Marlene snapped. "Just break up with me, then, will you? Don't give it some noble person, and don't say it like that. We still have to see each other. We'll be living together, even. Just tell me you don't want me. Don't be a coward."

"Fine. I'm breaking up with you, if you prefer it that way." Marlene got out of his bed very quickly, cheeks flaming in some combination of embarrassment and anger. She straightened out her clothes and then struggled to get her shoes on as quickly as possible. She whirled on him.

"You're more fickle than a third year girl, you know that? " she snapped. "Sorry I'm not good enough for you, then. Can't hold your attention for a day, can I?"

"Stop being melodramatic," Sirius sighed irritably. Whatever feelings he had for her would pass soon enough, and it wasn't worth keeping this up while he waited. "I'm sick of it, alright? There's a lot of things far more important than you, and you take up far too much of my time-" He cut off when Marlene hit him, cutting his lip with the ring baring her family crest that sat on her finger. "Bitch," he snarled as he grabbed her wrist in a firm grasp.

"Don't you _dare_ act as if I've been some horrible inconvenience to you. You know what? Fine. If you're happier with the silly, stupid girls that fawn over you because you're _so handsome_," she spat, "then I don't care. You deserve them."

"Oh, because you're so fucking deep?" he taunted. "You gave it up pretty fast, didn't you? I was just the most convenient person to take your virginity, right? No other takers? Want to know why? You're a frigid, manipulative bitch, and no one wants to put up with your constant whinging." Marlene flinched as she tugged her arm away from him, rubbing her wrist. She looked up at him, and he was ashamed to see he had brought tears to her eyes.

"You're so-" Marlene's voice cracked for a moment. "You're so fucking stupid." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "You-you don't even-God, you're so thick. That's not what you were. That's not what you are to me at all. I decided that if I should give myself to anyone, it might as well have been you, yes," she shrugged, looking away from him. "Don't you realize I-" She cut off, shaking her head. "It doesn't even matter because you're so set on breaking up with me because you think it's the right, _noble_ thing to do, don't you?" Sirius was silent, but he wiped away a tear that had found its way down her cheek.

"Sirius, why are you so convinced it's wrong for us to be together?" she asked. "You're killing me with all of this."

"It's just not going to work with the Order. I'll be too distracted," Sirius said quietly, though with far less conviction than before.

"Do you forget I'm joining too?" she asked, sighing heavily. She took out her wand and stepped a little closer to Sirius, mending his lip. Reaching up on her tiptoes, Marlene kissed him softly over the quickly healing scratch. "I love you." She whispered that particular Unforgivable against his lips, silently praying he'd take mercy on her. Sirius put his hands on her shoulders, pushing her back a bit. Grey eyes searched her carefully. "It's not some means to an end, Sirius. I'm telling you because I trust you, and because I want you to know that you mean...the world to me. I know...I know that you feel like I'm some sort of weak spot, but it doesn't have to be like that. Let me in," she bid quietly.

"Marlene," he began hesitantly. Could he honestly throw caution to the wind? The thought of her walking away was horrible. He didn't want to see her go, of course. He pressed his lips to hers for a second, not knowing what to say. He wasn't quite sure he loved her, and he wasn't going to say it just to make her happy. "I'm sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean them. It was a stupid fight."

"We fight a lot," she whispered, but she was smiling anyway. "I'm sorry for hitting you. That was...rash. I don't need you to say you love me. I do need you to make a promise though."

"I'm listening," Sirius encouraged, albeit hesitantly.

"You'll stop holding me at arm's length for stupid reasons. I want all of you, alright? I want my foolhardy, brave, rash Sirius. I don't want you reserved, cautious. If you can't give me-us-a proper chance, then tell me now," she requested, eyes boring into his.

"Alright," he agreed. Marlene wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Admittedly, she was a little disappointed that he hadn't returned her sentiments, but he had seemed willing enough to meet her halfway. She let her hands slip under his shirt, fingers touching the warm skin of his stomach as she kissed him softly. With insistent steps, she pushed him towards his bed. Sirius paused when his legs touched the mattress, turning them around and lying Marlene on her back.

He kissed her again now, knotting a hand into her hair. Marlene's hands found purchase on his shoulder, moaning quietly when he pulled at her bottom lip with his teeth briefly. Hesitantly, she tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his head with a bit of help from him. Following suit, he took her ratty pajama shirt off and smiled at her before reconnecting their lips. Their skin was flush, rubbing slightly with each dip and pull of their lips, and Marlene sighed happily.

Sirius let his hands explore the dips and curves of her body leisurely. He smiled a bit when a blush rose to her cheeks. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her soundly. "You're breathtaking, Marlene," he promised. "Don't know how it took me so long to realize." Marlene flushed in response, grinning at the compliment. It spread a flush from her scalp to her neck, burning pleasantly.

Gently, Sirius rolled his hips against hers once, groaning. Marlene smiled, and she quickly shimmied out of her pants and knickers before taking to kissing him again. Sirius let the remainder of his clothes fall to the floor with a quiet rustle of fabric. He gathered her up in his arms, hugging her to him tightly as he kissed her for a long while.

"Sirius," she whispered, opening her eyes and looking at him. She opened her legs a bit wider for him, and he laced their fingers, looking down at her.

"Sure?" he confirmed, nuzzling at her neck now.

"Yeah," Marlene agreed, breathing hard. He held her gaze as he moved into her. They moaned together, kissing again. Marlene squeezed his hands. Sirius was looking at her again in a way that made her feel very, very exposed. He watched every movement of her face as he moved slowly and deliberately within her, only breaking eye contact to kiss her now and again.

He never much changed his pace, her mewling seemed satisfactory, and he enjoyed having her like this. It was how their first time should have been, Sirius realized, with soft touches and whispered sweet nothings. The warmth in the pit of her stomach grew hotter and hotter until she was sure her blood was alight as it sung through her veins.

Sirius dropped his forehead to hers when he felt her coming closer and closer. He sped up the thrusts of his hips, a little more forceful in his search for release.

"Merlin, Sirius," she gasped out, hips canting to meet his. His fingers clenched around hers, and he captured her lips in a last heated kiss as they both tumbled over the edge.

"Marlene. God, Marlene," he whispered in the aftermath, thoroughly shaken by how nice it had been to be so soft with her. The way she had looked at him had taken his breath away. "Fuck, you're beautiful." The blonde girl laughed breathlessly, hooking her legs about him to keep him from moving just yet.

"That was, that was wonderful, Sirius," she whispered.

"I'm glad, Marlene." He wrapped his arms around her when she finally allowed him to pull out of her. "You're perfect." Marlene didn't have to will to argue. If he thought she was so wonderful, well, she'd let it go. It was satisfying validation, at the least. "I think I love you."

Marlene felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest. "Say that again in a few hours when you're not all sexed up," she teased as she closed her eyes.

"If I go to sleep, will you be here when I wake?" Sirius asked her curiously.

"I swear," she nodded, kissing him one last time and stroking the slight stubble on his jaw as he began to drift off. Marlene knew she wouldn't sleep, but she could thoroughly enjoy being here, still wrapped up in Sirius' arms. A petty part of Marlene cheered. After years of stupid, pointless dates with timid Slytherins and being sneered at by other girls, Marlene was the one in bed with Sirius; the one in love with Sirius.

She'd have to give his ex-girlfriends a formal 'fuck you' later. For now, she was too content to move.

_Read and Review_

_MaraudMyHeart_

_So, to those of you who read this story right when it updated, you'll know that the line originally read "she'd have to give Jade a formal 'fuck you' later." However, I realized as I was cleaning the house that Jade's scenes never actually made it into the story. Whoops. If you're interested in having Jade make an appearance, lemme know. She's fun to write, and I'm not quite sure why she never made the final cut._


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